abnabooks Chapter 108 055: A life surrounded by neurosis
Chapter 108 055: A life surrounded by neurosis
Chapter 108 055: The same life surrounded by neurosis
Mu Jinyue suddenly thought of an idiom.
The golden house hides the charm.
She sneered, and finally turned her head slightly, meeting Fu Yan's eyes.The two were too close, their breaths intertwined, creating an ambiguous atmosphere.
Fu Yan unconsciously held his breath, his eyes deepened.
"Fu Yan," Mu Jinyue asked, "Are you going to raise me?"
His eyes moved, and his heart was really moved by her words.
Raising her... It's actually not bad, no, it's not just good, it should be said that he couldn't wish for it.
He didn't deny it, the emotion was too obvious, and the smile on the corner of Mu Jinyue's mouth was tinged with coldness, and her words became harsh and sharp: "And then? Like raising a pet? Raise me, and I can only rely on you in the future." Survive?"
These words seemed to turn into sharp swords, piercing through something, and then disappearing without a trace.
The air froze for two seconds, Fu Yan let go of his hands with a cold face, and took a step back, his pupils were like stars in winter, covered with a thick layer of frost, bright but cold.His tone was also cold, as if he had finally lost his patience, he frowned slightly and let go of his anger: "Is that why you miss me?"
Mu Jinyue didn't speak, and raised her hand to cover the doorknob.
With a very slight sound, she pushed the door, and accidentally tripped over something when she raised her foot. Looking down, it was the slippers that Fu Yan had just placed at her feet.
Dark gray, typical men's slippers, just took off the label, a brand new pair, placed at her feet.
The action of pushing the door paused, and the people behind her did not move. She could only hear shallow, slightly rapid breathing, as if she was trying to suppress something.
Mu Jinyue pursed her lower lip, raised her feet and took a step, and after going out, she regained consciousness and closed the door, still unable to control herself, she glanced up.
The young man's silhouette is tense, his face is expressionless, his peach blossom eyes are exquisite, with a slight blush around his eye sockets, he is beautiful and charming, his dark pupils seem to have melted ice and snow, cold and without warmth, and his hands hanging by his sides are also clenched tightly , The blue veins on the back of the hand are slightly raised due to exertion.
Mu Jinyue thought to herself, this time, she really made him very angry, and probably won't look for her again...
She obviously wanted to make him angry on purpose and wanted to leave, but when it really came to this time, she didn't want to close the door.
Ignoring the inexplicably empty emotions rising from the bottom of her heart, Mu Jinyue pressed her fingers hard, and the door gradually passed in front of her eyes, and finally locked with a "click", like an abyss, separating the two people in two worlds.
Her eyes were a little dry, she raised her hand and rubbed them, then turned and left.
Inside the door, Fu Yan suddenly lifted his foot and kicked hard on the shoe rack next to him.
With a loud bang, the shoe rack collapsed, the wooden shoe rack broke, and the shoes scattered, leaving the floor in a mess.
But he still felt puzzled, grabbed two handfuls of hair with red eyes, gritted his teeth and said, "Fucking..."
He didn't know what to swear when he wanted to swear, but his arrogance suddenly disappeared. He seemed to have lost all strength, sitting on the ground, with his hands on his knees, his head bowed, his breath was a bit decadent and dazed.
After more than ten minutes like this, he got up suddenly and rushed out.
*
After Mu Jinyue left Fu Yan's house, she was a little dazed.
She was dragged here by Fu Yan, her head was lowered the whole time, besides thinking about what Fu Yan was going to do, she was thinking about how to break free from him, not to mention looking at the road, she even forgot which building his family lived in.
The main reason is...the buildings around here all look the same, and the whole community occupies a very large area, all of which are exactly the same buildings, and when it gets dark, there are no signs that can be used to recognize the way. I have no idea where I am now.
She wanted to find someone to ask for directions, but she was naturally defensive, and she couldn't find a property, so asking passers-by... She might as well continue to get lost.
Mu Jinyue stopped and frowned slightly. She always thought that she was the type with a better sense of direction, but now it seems that she still overestimated herself.
Just when Mu Jinyue was thinking about whether to call the police, there was a rush of chaotic footsteps behind her.
Her eyes froze, her back tensed subconsciously, her fingers curled up slightly, ready to attack at any time.
Suddenly, someone behind her called her name.
"Mu Jinyue!"
It was a familiar voice, only heard more than half an hour ago.
She was startled, and turned her head. Under the pale moonlight, the boy was bent over, with his hands on his knees, his chest heaving violently and panting.
There are crystal beads of sweat on his forehead, and the fine strands of hair are limp and drooping, listless, and there are still a few strands of sweat sticking to his face, his cheeks are a little red, his lips are dry, but his eyes are as bright as stars, like It looked like he had finally found something, and his nerves relaxed.
Something hit her heart lightly, it was a little numb, and a little sore. Mu Jinyue opened her mouth, not knowing what to say.
Fu Yan took a steady breath, drooped his eyelids, stood up straight, and raised his eyes again. The emotions in his eyes were all restrained, and his aura also sank. He was obviously angry because of what happened just now. He said concisely: "This neighborhood is quite special, you I can't get out by myself."
She looked at him and said softly, "You can leave me alone."
"I pulled you here."
"You've been looking for me?" Mu Jinyue looked around the sweat on his forehead: "Why didn't you call?"
"You will answer?" He smiled slightly mockingly, raised his chin slightly, his posture was lazy but arrogant, a bit arrogant, and he spoke again in a straightforward tone, "Don't worry, I don't plan to send you back. I'll leave the neighborhood so it doesn't hinder your eyes."
This is Fu Yan, unrestrained, undisciplined and aloof, as if nothing will ever take his heart.
Mu Jinyue vaguely remembered the first time they met, the young man sneered in a deep and cold voice.
'Even if it is, don't get me wrong, I don't like girls, especially you. '
Something is different.
There are more... grievances and compromises.
Mu Jinyue knew a long time ago that Fu Yan was her fascination.
She stretched out her hand and gently grabbed Fu Yan, her tone was gentle and soft, as if she was coaxing, "I didn't mean that."
Fu Yan's body froze, he lowered his head, wondering if he ran too fast, his brain was congested and he had hallucinations.
"I'm sorry," she apologized sincerely, "I don't miss you that much."
Fu Yan couldn't find his soul for a while, and after a while, he stuttered and asked, "Then, do you want to go home with me?"
*
In less than an hour, Mu Jinyue returned to Fu Yan's house.
only--
"When you are angry, do you like to smash things?" Mu Jinyue asked looking at the broken shoe rack.
Without even thinking about it, Fu Yan raised his voice and retorted: "How is it possible!" Because of his guilty conscience, his voice was unavoidably louder. Seeing Mu Jinyue blinking in a daze, he lowered the volume again, turned his head, and explained by looking for new slippers. , "I bumped into it when I was going out, and I was planning to clean it up when I came back, who knows..."
His voice became smaller and smaller, but his eyes became brighter and brighter, and he took a pair of new shoes from the cabinet and put them in front of Mu Jinyue: "I don't know if there are any sawdust in the pair just now, let's wear this, you go into the room, I will Clean it up," he reminded again worriedly, "be careful, walk around the spot, don't step on it."
Mu Jinyue changed her slippers and looked left and right. The shoe rack was broken, so she put the shoes aside and watched as Fu Yan brought the broom and swept away the debris and shoes.
"Are you going to wear slippers to go out tomorrow?"
Without raising his head, he said casually, "There are new ones in the room." Putting the things aside, he raised his eyebrows and made a smirk: "Why are you standing here? Want to watch me work?"
Mu Jinyue: "...I just don't know where to go."
Fu Yan's smile faltered, and he turned and walked in: "Do you want to drink water?"
Mu Jinyue followed suit step by step and responded.
She sat on the sofa, a little cramped.
In fact, she didn't even know why she came back with Fu Yan. It might be because of the momentary shock when he appeared in front of him profusely sweating. The sting.
Or, she regretted it from the moment she deliberately said something ugly to make him angry.
Fu Yan came over with two glasses of water, and sat opposite her. The glass in his left hand was placed in front of her, and he leaned back lazily, as if slumped on the sofa.
Mu Jinyue had never seen him in such a relaxed and comfortable posture, so she couldn't help but look twice, but she met his half-smiling eyes.
She immediately lowered her eyes, picked up the water glass calmly, and looked closely, but she could see ripples in the water in the glass, as well as the light crimson ear tips hidden in her hair.
Fu Yan leaned forward, shaking the glass slightly in his hand, and lowered his voice: "What are you looking at me for?"
After taking a sip of water, Mu Jinyue still felt her mouth was a little dry, so she picked up the water glass and took another sip, only then did she feel the heat from her ears fade.
Just as she was about to say something casual to fool her, she heard Fu Yan's laughing voice again.
"Could it be...that I suddenly discovered that I look good?"
Mu Jinyue's hand trembled, thanks to the fact that she drank more than half of the glass just now, otherwise she would have to waste her life.
"You're thinking too much." She put down the water glass, subconsciously straightened her back, and leaned back a little, "I just...just think it's a little weird."
There was a smile in Fu Yan's eyes. The chandelier was just above the sofa. When the light was turned off, it shone directly on his face, softening the contours of his facial features. His voice was slightly seductive: "What's so strange?"
I don't know if Mu Jinyue's coquettish behavior put him in a good mood, anyway, she felt that after that, his whole body began to waver.
In other words, it began to exude seductive charm all the time.
Mu Jinyue turned her eyes away, fearing that she would be deceived, so she randomly searched for topics: "Do you live by yourself?"
Originally, it was just to fool the past, but who knew that the person on the other side didn't speak for a long time when he asked this question. Mu Jinyue felt that she had asked something that shouldn't be asked, raised her eyes, and was about to say that she was just asking casually, when the person on the other side opened her mouth slowly up.
"Yes," he put down the water glass, and the glass made a crisp sound when it hit the coffee table, followed by his faint voice: "When I was 13, my parents divorced."
Mu Jinyue was slightly taken aback.
He went on to speak in a calm tone, as if telling a story: "Since they were young, their relationship has not been good. I always thought it was because they had no feelings, but later I realized that she was just unwilling to guard a Man, I hope more men love her, that's why I quarrel every day, and finally divorced after more than ten years of quarreling, but he is unwilling, and has always hoped to get that woman back, but unfortunately he has not succeeded until now."
"It is estimated that those two people hate me a little more. One thinks it is a bondage, and the other thinks I am useless."
Except for the first sentence, Fu Yan didn't call them "Parents", they used pronouns.
In just a few words, Mu Jinyue was able to understand.
Fu Yan's mother hated him, thinking that he was a bondage, a burden, and a failure that affected her charm and attracted people's attention. His father thought he was useless and could not return the gaze of the woman he loved.
No need to think about it, his childhood was another kind of misery.
Her fingers on her legs curled up slightly, her voice was rough, and she couldn't say a word of comfort.
She is a mess herself, how can she comfort others?
"Do you understand what I mean?" Fu Yan asked suddenly.
Mu Jinyue couldn't react a little, opened her mouth, and said with difficulty: "You... don't be sad..." She really can't comfort people.
Obviously he was talking about his own affairs, but Fu Yan was calmer than Mu Jinyue. He raised his eyebrows when he heard her comfort, and shook his head: "That's not what I meant."
He didn't look sad at all, probably because he was like this since he was a child, and he has long been used to it.
Mu Jinyue hesitated for a moment and asked him, "Then what do you mean?"
Fu Yan was paralyzed on the sofa with a slack posture, but there were two balls of thick ink in his eyes, so deep that he couldn't see through the emotions inside.
Just now, when he ran all over the neighborhood but couldn't find anyone, he suddenly remembered Lu Zicang's words.
There are knots and secrets between them, that's why they are as close as they are now.Fu Yan could even feel that she was escaping, or even afraid of something, so he always put up his defenses unconsciously and used sharp words to make him back.
He didn't want to do this, so he spoke first and cut himself open to show her, just to eliminate this invisible and intangible barrier.
He is used to arrogance, even if his father doesn't love his mother, he has been a bully since he was a child. He never thought about comparing his heart to his heart and judging others by himself, but it seems that it is not that difficult to be with Mu Jinyue.
Fu Yan narrowed his eyes and asked her, "What about you?"
"what?"
"Don't you have anything to say?"
"I..." Just as Mu Jinyue said a word, she suddenly realized that her shallow pupils suddenly constricted, like the wind blowing away, dispelling the mist, and gathering another layer of storm.
Fu Yan felt that she was thinking too much, "I don't want to exchange anything with you, nor use this to make a deal with you, I just want to tell you, that's all."
The surface of the lake that was about to freeze into ice melted, and her eyes sparkled. Under the light, they looked like embellished crystals, and the refracted brilliance shone brightly.
Mu Jinyue suddenly had an urge to tell him what she wanted to hide from anyone.
maybe--
Fu Yan looked at her and said with a smile: "I've lived that kind of life surrounded by neurosis for more than ten years. I've gone through a lot of battles. What else can you say to scare me?"
(End of this chapter)